I met Ian as a client for the photoshoot. In getting to know him and listening to his story and his experience it immediately rang bells. I told him of an experience I had only weeks before.
After 8 weeks of terrible sleep, we’re talking late nights and 5am starts mostly due to my beautiful growing daughter and work being particularly busy, I felt I was at the end of my tether or so I had myself believe.
It was late at night, bath, milk, story and bedtime started at 7pm and we we’re still at it by 10pm. My daughter lay in bed demanding to be read to, cry or scream. I was in the darkness of her bedroom trying to reason with her. I hadn’t the strength to leave her at that point.
In what felt like an end of the world moment I was lost and about to loose it. Not in anger but like a giant pop inside my head. How that would have come out? I dare not think. I looked around the dark room in search of something to grasp onto to bring myself back round and believe it or not I grabbed my wrist and gave it a little twist, like you do with your hands sometimes when about to take on a task. That touching moment brought me out of what was going to be another hour of hell. Until either my daughter or I passed out in exhaustion. I felt like I checked in with myself. So I got up, told my daughter I Ioved her and that she was safe and sound and walked out.
Now we had been very lucky until that phase in her life. My daughter had always gone to sleep. So this was a new steep journey for us and we genuinely thought we could talk her round. We were wrong, it took weeks to realise she had developed way beyond our reckoning and was actually working out boundaries with us.
Soon after this day we went on holiday for a week and that made us all realign. Bonding, togetherness and no time schedules, you can’t beat it.
Take more breaks. You are no good to anyone, mostly your child, under so much strain that you cannot measure any more.
Take step back. Step away from scenarios or arguing. Remember she is 2, you are 33.