My wife and I both work and are very busy, driven and results oriented. We have 2 children; and I found that my 5 year old boy and I argued a lot and that he always seemed to be nagging me for more and more attention which I didn’t handle well.
I really didn’t like the conflict and often felt bad about our interactions afterwards.
What I had to do was recognise that he is a child and as the adult it is my responsibility to defuse the conflict and find a positive way forward. So I made a conscious decision to try to be more understanding, still maintaining good discipline but picking when it is appropriate and when I should be more relaxed and support him more.
I made a commitment, wrote it down and to help me remember this I decided it would be good to have something to remind me to be supportive rather than angry and to appreciate his frustration also.
We settled on the idea of a wrist band which I now wear all the time and really works. Its discreet and wearing it next to my watch means I see it often throughout the day. At other times when I need to get myself together, take a breath I guess, it is something to focus on to bring me back to being calmer.My relationship with my son is better than ever. It’s not easy and I’m far from perfect but I made a commitment to be positive, to listen, to defuse conflict and try to be the best parent I could.
That commitment and the wrist band which reminds me is what keeps me on track.
Having seen it work we thought “hey we can’t be the only people in this situation”. So we decided to share our experience and method as simple as it is.
And it’s not just dads and their children. Its mums, its husbands with wives and vice versa, it could be friends remembering to make an effort or children with homework or chores. It could be as simple as I’m going to be a nicer person to everyone or I’m going to achieve my new years resolutions.
Its simple order the band, make your pledge, commit to it, share it and review it.
Did you know you are 42% more likely to succeed if you write a goal down. The visual reminder multiples that.
The point is it’s your promise and your reminder to be positive everyday – just looking at or touching your wrist band can be enough to keep you on track.
It has worked for us and it can work for you.